Defining Moments
by scared of clouds
Summary: A series of drabbles, based on prompts for Jily Week. All canon-based. The Harry Potter series is owned by JK Rowling, and I am just playing with her characters; I don't own anything. Cover art by Viria.
1. Different Starting Points

**********A/N: So for those of you who don't know, it's Jily Week over on Tumblr! This basically means that loads of incredibly talented people are posting art, fics, edits etc based around daily prompts from now until Sunday, so you should check it out if you can. **

**********I'm posting daily drabbles for it, and I thought I'd post them here as well, just to keep all my writing together. This will be a series of not-really-connected drabbles, and so the styles may vary a lot and the chapters will probably not form a consistent timeline.**

**********Prompt for day one: Childhood**

******__****(J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) __****(J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L)**

Lily Evans took her first steps aged 13 months, in the living room of a modest, semi-detached house in Cokeworth. She crossed the room to reach the biscuit in her mother's outstretched hand, and was cheered on by both her mother and older sister, and later hugged proudly by her father when he returned home from work. She still didn't walk routinely until she was closer to eighteen months; her mother often said that Lily could never be rushed into accepting things, even when they were inevitable.

James Potter had taken his first steps by the time he was nine months old, and they had been witnessed only by the house elf who had watched, horrified, as he crossed the room on shaky legs before swinging on the door handle in an attempt to escape from his playroom. After that date, nothing was safe from James Potter's little hands, and the house elves spent many an hour chasing after him to retrieve precious Potter artefacts. James' mother often said that James always went directly for what he wanted.

Lily's first day at primary school was one of excitement more than worry; her big sister held her hand all the way on the walk, her mother following along behind, admiring her girls in their matching uniforms and neat plaits. She made an instant friend in Angela, a fellow redhead who lived in the next street over from her, and spent lunchtime skipping with the other girls in her class. She loved school from that very first day.

James never even had to leave Potter Manor for school; his parents' hired a governess, a lady even older than they were called Harriet, who simply moved in with them to take care of him. She adored him, and happily played with him between lessons, but it simply wasn't the same as having a friend of his own age to match him in hyperactivity. He loved Potter Manor, but as he grew it began to feel confining.

Lily discovered magic, although she did not know that was what it was exactly, when she was six years old and desperate for just one last bedtime story. Not one member of her family believed her when she claimed that the story books lying on her bed had just floated down from the shelf when she thought about it, despite the fact that she quite clearly could not have reached the high shelf herself. No-one wants to believe in unexplainable things, so they simply didn't think about it, and they continued this attempt at ignorance for a further five years until an extraordinary letter arrived, accompanied by an even more extraordinary person. They had always considered their daughter to be special, and couldn't honestly say they were that surprised at finding out she was more special still, though that did not tone down the jolt at finding out that magic was real.

James had heard stories of magic, and seen it used, from the very earliest days of his life, and he was desperate to be able to perform it himself. While Lily's parents tried _not _to see any results of their daughter's abilities, James' parents watched him carefully, wondering every day when he would show signs of magic. There was never any doubt in their mind that James would be a wonderful wizard, and James himself was confident that he could do magic, if only he could force it to come out of him. Some days he would simply stare at objects, willing them to move, to change, to respond to his wishes. It shouldn't have come as any surprise to any of them that one day, when James was five years old and sulking after a row with his mother about whether shoes were necessary for going outdoors, every pair of shoes in the house miraculously disappeared. When _his _letter arrived the summer after his eleventh birthday, it was a surprise to no-one and merely resulted in a celebratory trip to Diagon Alley to pick out an owl.

Lily - who had grown up with a sister who was also a best friend, who had become close friends with a boy who lived just round the corner, who had neighbours very close by and a plethora of acquaintances from primary school - couldn't wait to go to Hogwarts to _learn_, to explore her magic, to discover a new world. She wanted to meet people and make friends of course, but she already knew what it was like to have friends, to be surrounded by people who liked her and played games with her; she wanted to find out more about _magic_, about magical creatures, and charms, and the history of the school and all the hundred million things that were new and exciting.

Lily's strange new world was James Potter's very familiar one; he had no interest in learning about Goblin Rebellions or how healing potions were made. To him those things simply _existed_, they were everyday and mundane, and they held none of the awe for him that they did for Lily. No, what James Potter wanted out of Hogwarts was something he didn't have at home; friends, pranks, games, Quidditch matches. He did want to learn - especially things like transfiguration, and apparition, and any number of other spells he'd seen his parents use and desperately wanted to be able to use himself - but for someone who'd grown up on an isolated estate, who'd been educated at home, who had no siblings and had only ever really interacted with children of a similar age when he'd spent time with his cousins, a castle full of people was the draw for him.

James had been lonely; Lily, uninformed. Both went to Hogwarts with the intention of remedying what they saw as the defects of their childhood, each of them already strong-willed and stubborn by the tender age of eleven. James, goal-orientated and focused, and Lily, thoughtful and introspective, were both sorted into Gryffindor, and one could say that was where their story began.

But in truth their story started so much earlier, their characters and habits and desires formed by their very different upbringings; if there had been an outside observer to the events of their childhood, their interactions at Hogwarts would have made perfect sense; it was always inevitable.

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**************A/N: I just have this headcanon that James was a lonely child, and so he completely over-compensated when he got to Hogwarts, whereas - going by JK's comments that Lily was a lot like Ginny - I think that Lily would have been pretty popular pre-Hogwarts as well. **

**************As always, thanks for reading.  
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	2. Converging Lines

**A/N: Jily week day two prompt: Friendships. **

**_(J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L)_**

Sirius Black and James Potter were an unlikely pair, but were oddly inseparable right from their first day. Many comments were made about the friendship between the two, although not as many as were passed on the subject of Sirius Black being sorted a Gryffindor, against all the odds. Slightly later on, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew would join the unlikely pair, and the duo would become a foursome, famed throughout the school for their pranks and varied talents.

If there was an odder friendship to be seen at Hogwarts, than that between the four very different Marauders, it was the one between Lily Evans and Severus Snape; the muggleborn Gryffindor and the half-blood Slytherin. Certainly the pair had common ground; a liking for Potions, an upbringing in a muggle area, a love of Hogwarts and learning in general, but many who knew them were unsure that this was enough to keep a friendship going when the differences between them were so much greater.

But by their fifth year the interpersonal relationships between the six of them had grown so complicated that it was generally agreed by most independent viewers that their interactions were _always_ well worthy of observation, fraught as they often were.

**_(J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L)_**

'Seriously Prongs, can you concentrate for one minute please? This map isn't going to enchant itself.' Sirius sounded irritated, but James was extremely used to his best mate's moods and simply rolled his eyes in response as he turned his attention back to his friends and the piece of parchment they were hunched over in a quiet corner of the library.

'Evans again?' Peter asked under his breath, grinning as he glanced up at James' slightly reddening face; he'd gotten much better at controlling the blush these days, probably from the amount of practice he'd been getting recently. Ever since he'd let his attraction for the redhead slip, his fellow Marauders had been merciless in their teasing.

'I didn't even see her come in.' Remus looked up interestedly; he'd always liked Lily, and was the least likely of them to tease James about his liking for her. The way he saw it, there were far, far worse people James could have developed a crush on; Lily was smart, stubborn, just a little bit sarcastic and totally unwilling to take any shit from James.

'She's studying with Snivellus.' Sirius replied with a curl of the lip; of all of them he was the one who disliked the Slytherin the most - possibly because of the amount of time he seemed to spend with Regulus - though James ran a close second, both thoroughly jealous of the time he spent with Lily and utterly disgusted by his apparent liking for the Dark Arts. 'Says it all really doesn't it? What kind of person, what kind of _Gryffindor_, associates with scum like that snake?'

The entire table tensed up a little; Snape had become a real sore point, not least because of Sirius' attempt to send him under the Whomping Willow to an encounter with a transformed Remus. The fallout from that incident had come close to severing the friendship between the four of them, and though it was forgiven, it was not wholly forgotten.

'Lily can be friends with whoever she wants.' Remus defended, a frown crossing his features. 'I admit I don't particularly understand _why _she wants to be friends with him, but she apparently does.'

'And it'll bite her in the arse in the end.' Said James sourly. 'Sooner or later, he's going to fuck her over. Prick.'

'Well, then I'm sure you can take advantage and swoop right in and pick up the pieces.' Sirius muttered. 'Though I'm not sure why you'd want to.'

James opened his mouth to respond, his face darkening with temper, but he was interrupted by Remus, always preferring to be the peacemaker when possible. 'I think we should go back to the dorm and work on this. We've got everything we need from the books, and we don't want to be overheard.' He looked pointedly in the direction of Lily, but more importantly, Snape; they weren't sitting that far away and Lily's tense posture suggested that she was well aware of their proximity too.

'Good point Moony. We _especially _don't want to be overheard by people who have a special interest in nosing into our business.' With a brief glance in Snape's direction, Peter immediately began to gather up his things; he wasn't averse to a exchanging a few comments, and maybe a hex or two with the Slytherin, but the whole thing seemed to be coming to a head recently, and if there was going to be trouble he'd prefer it not to be under the watchful eye of Madam Pince. 'Let's go.'

The other three followed his lead, and they had their bags packed and were heading out of the library within minutes. They passed the table where Lily and Snape were studying, and Sirius stalked on ahead when he realised his best friend was slowing his pace slightly.

'Evans.' Unable to resist, James nodded at her as he passed the table and Lily looked up briefly from her parchment, her shoulders stiff with tension as green eyes met hazel.

'Potter.' She answered, accompanying it with a nod of her own, her tone carefully neutral; that was enough for him though, and he offered her a smile as he continued on his way. Some of the stiffness left her posture when he kept walking by, and the nods she shared with Remus and Peter as they left were much less fraught.

'I don't know how you can bring yourself to speak to any of them.' Snape muttered as Peter passed them last, just loud enough for her to hear, and she shot him an annoyed look.

'Because there's no need to be rude to them when they haven't actually done anything wrong.' She responded quietly.

'That you know of.' He answered with a curl of his lip. 'Bet they've done something today.'

'Yes, well, if they have, I haven't seen it.' There was an edge of temper in Lily's voice now, and Snape knew he should shut up, knew she didn't like the rows, but he was so frustrated that he couldn't make her see, couldn't make her properly understand what a group of idiots her fellow Gryffindors were. If she'd only been in Slytherin…

'You know they have though.' He persisted. 'What does it matter if you saw them doing anything today when you know they probably have, and when you've seen them do hundreds of things in the past. You know what they're like Lily…'

'I know exactly what they're like Sev.' Lily interrupted. 'Better than you I imagine, since I live with them. But I'm not going to be constantly on bad terms with them if I don't need to be, I have enough of that rubbish in my life.'

They lapsed into silence again for a moment, the only sound the flipping of pages and their quills scratching across parchment. Severus didn't really want to push it, he knew what Lily had been referring to with that last comment; he'd heard the nasty rows she had with his _other _friends sometimes, and perhaps if it had been anyone _but _Potter and Black and their pathetic hangers-on, he might have understood her desire for allies against the gathering momentum of the blood-purists, but he just couldn't bear the thought of her standing beside _them_. Not when_ he_ could look after her, take her under his protection, if only she'd let him.

'It's just because he's got a thing for you, you know.' He muttered, bile rising in his throat at the thought. 'That's all. Potter likes you.'

Lily looked up and shrugged before returning her eyes to her work. 'So?'

'Well…how can you…doesn't it bother you?'

She shrugged again, her eyes firmly fixed on the textbook she was flipping through. 'Why should it? It doesn't change anything.'

'It doesn't?' He asked, an edge of hope creeping into his voice, and Lily looked up at him.

'Of course not. Doesn't change anything at all.'

**_(J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L)_**

Very few of the interested observers who'd seen the dynamics between the six of them in their fifth year would have predicted how they would stand by the end of their seventh.

James Potter, who had arrived at Hogwarts a lonely boy, knowing no-one bar for a few cousins, left the school for the last time, on his last day, with the three best friends he'd had from the very first term, friends he would have proudly called brothers. He left with the girl he'd mooned over since fifth year or maybe even earlier, who'd once seemed the least likely to take a second look at him but who now wore his ring on the third finger of her left hand; she was his lover, his friend, his heart and conscience. James Potter was one of the few who could honestly say they left the school with far more than they came with.

Lily Evans, who had entered Hogwarts accompanied by her best friend, her concerns over her fracturing relationship with her sister hovering over her like a cloud, left with a fiancé and three surrogate brothers of a kind. She walked out of the castle for the last time held tightly to James Potter's side, wrapped up in the warmth of his presence, comfortable with the fact that he held her heart in the palm of his hand; she was flanked by a renegade Black, a werewolf and a usually underestimated half-blood, all of whom she would have counted as trusted friends, family even. And this time she carried the knowledge that she was unlikely to reconcile with either her sister or her former friend, and she was as resigned to that as anyone could be expected to be; on balance, if asked, Lily Evans might have said she left with more than she came with too.

Severus Snape, who'd walked into the castle seven years ago with the girl he'd watched and adored for months, the only true friend he'd ever had right there by his side, left with his four dorm mates - none of whom he really liked - and a vicious churning in his stomach as he watched Lily glow brightly, radiant on the arm of James bloody Potter, her happiness beaming out of her very bones. Severus Snape left Hogwarts with nothing but bitterness and anger, and a towering hostility towards those he blamed for his loss; the school that had in many ways saved him in his childhood had been the scene of the breaking of him in his adolescence.

Somewhere over the course of seven years, five had chosen the same side, one had chosen the other, and at least one friendship had been shattered; in this war, it would not be the last.

**_(J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L)_**

**A/N: Thanks for reading, and if you haven't already you should check out Jily week on Tumblr.**


	3. Consequences and Commitments

**A/N: Jily Week day three. Prompt: Dumbledore's Offer.  
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**_(J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L)_**

'I'm not sorry.' James folded his arms across his chest defiantly as he strode up and down the little stretch of red carpet in front of the desk. 'Not one little bit Professor. You can expel me, make me Filch's skivvy for the rest of the year, take my badge, whatever, _I don't care_. I'm glad I did it, and I'd do it again.'

Dumbledore laced his fingers together and rested his clasped hands on his desk, observing his raging Head Boy calmly. The faint hint of a bruise was beginning to bloom on his cheek, his hair was messier than usual and his face was set in angry lines, his eyes hard behind his glasses.

It was odd to see in a way. He had almost forgotten how much of a temper James Potter had; it had been some time since he had really involved himself in a fight. He threw the occasional hex, certainly, and there could be no doubting his…issues…with _particular_ other students, but even that had calmed down over the course of his NEWT studies, and since his appointment to the Head Boy position he could more often be found tutoring first years than participating in duels. No, today was an exception rather than the rule, and Dumbledore found himself curious as to what could have prompted his Head Boy to violently assault three six year Slytherins, using only his fists rather than his wand.

'I am not going to do anything, Mr Potter, until I have the facts of the matter.' He spoke calmly, his eyes resting on James, still prowling the confines of his office. 'Would you care to enlighten me as to the unfortunate circumstances that led to this regrettable incident?'

That proved to be a rather provocative statement, and James stopped his pacing and exploded at his Headmaster.

'Unfortunate circumstances?' His lip curled in an uncharacteristically aggressive expression as his voice rose, and Dumbledore considered it a good thing that the Headmaster's Office was thoroughly covered by Silencing charms, or a good portion of the corridor would currently be overhearing the wrath of James Potter. 'Is that what you call it, Professor, when sixth years practice Unforgivable curses on second years? Because do you know what I call it? _Bloody disgusting_. Appalling. A bloody…_disgrace_. And there is nothing, _nothing_, regrettable about what I did to them, although I _do_ regret that I didn't manage to break more bones…'

It was perhaps a good thing that the door flew open at that point to admit the Head Girl; James' temper - never sterling to begin with - was decidedly frayed by this point, and it was entirely possible that he was about to start taking it out on anything that crossed his path, inanimate or not.

'You asked to see me urgently Professor?' Lily began as she entered the room, her eyes fixed on the Headmaster seated behind the desk, but she obviously caught a flicker of movement in the corner of her eye, and her gaze was quickly drawn by the irate teenage boy now frozen to the spot, knuckles turning white and jaw clenched. 'James? James, what happened?'

She closed the space between them in a heartbeat, one hand reaching up to trace the bruise that was slowly making its presence known on his face. Dumbledore looked down at his desk, pointedly not seeing the tender interaction currently taking place between his Head Boy and Girl; he'd had a feeling about the pair for some time now, and felt that this could quite easily be considered confirmation of a sort.

'What happened?' Lily's voice was gentle, but it was also firm; even so, Dumbledore was surprised when he responded, surprised that she could coax immediate answers from a fuming James Potter with nothing more than a few words and a simple touch. Perhaps there was even more there than he'd thought. The idea was uplifting; love could be found even in the worst of times.

'I found myself some trouble.'

'So I can see.' There was a sharp intake of breath from James, and Dumbledore assumed that Lily's questing fingertips had found some particularly sore patch of skin. 'Care to share some more details with us?'

Dumbledore looked up at that; Lily's use of the plural suggested that she, at least, had remembered they were not alone, though she did not appear particularly concerned that the Headmaster was witness to her current position, pressed up close to James as she examined his bruised cheek and raw knuckles.

'I caught some sixth years trying to practice Crucio and Imperio on second years.' He answered shortly, irritability still buzzing in his words. 'And I lost my temper.'

'Lose your wand as well?' Asked Lily, with the faintest hint of a smile playing on her lips.

To the Headmaster's surprise, James actually looked a little sheepish at that.

'I just forgot about it to be honest.'

Lily laughed, very briefly and quietly as she grasped both of his hands in hers. 'You know, sometimes it's almost impossible to believe that you're a pureblood.'

James raised his eyes to the Headmaster, his height allowing him to look directly over Lily's head. 'I meant it Professor. I'll take whatever punishment you give me, but I'm not sorry I did it, and I can't honestly say I won't do it again.'

Dumbledore looked at the pair, appraising them as they stood in front of him. He was very much torn; on the one hand, he couldn't deny that he had long had hopes for them after school, hopes that they would join him and fight. On the other, he wished more than anything that he didn't have to ask them to. Watching them as they stood together in his office, joined at the hands, obviously a unit rather than a pair of individuals, he wished for nothing more than to give James detention and send them both back to their common room with a few words about controlling his temper.

But there was the world he would wish to live in, and the world they _did _live in, and the closer it came to the end of the school year, the less choice he felt he had in the matter.

'Mr Potter…I can't imagine that punishing you over this matter would do any good.'

James' face registered his surprise, but Lily's remained composed; the Headmaster rather suspected that she somehow knew all along that he wouldn't punish him.

'Your methods may be…somewhat _reprehensible_, but your desire to protect others, to fight for what is _right_, is one of the reasons I appointed you to the position in the first place, and I cannot punish you for that.'

He leaned back in his chair and sighed, recognising that his decision had long been made, and he simply had to come to terms with it.

'I would, however, like to offer you a more effective outlet for your righteous indignation.'

James' curiosity was obviously raised, and the residual surprise and the remnants of anger slid from his face to be replaced with an expression of cautious interest. Lily was likewise looking at him with great attentiveness, and he again felt that pang in his heart that he could not simply let them be.

He gestured for the two of them to sit down and waited for them to seat themselves, wondering if they were consciously aware of the way their bodies inclined towards each other as each took up one of the armchairs opposite his desk.

'You will be leaving this school in a few months; I'm sure that begins to feel like a rather short time.' He waited for brief nods from them both before continuing. 'I am also certain that you are aware, at least to some extent, of the more ominous events that have been taking place in the world outside these walls.'

Nods again from both of them; he doubted that any witch or wizard was unaware of the attacks on Diagon Alley, the disappearances, the mass muggle killings, but he wished to make it very clear what they would be involving themselves with.

'The wizard styling himself Lord Voldemort is perhaps the greatest evil we have ever faced, and his influence seeps in everywhere, poisoning wizard against wizard. You have witnessed this even here, in today's events, and on many other days I'm sure; his poison leaches even into Hogwarts, into the hearts of the young. We must stop him. And we will do so.'

He paused again, seeing that he had the rapt attention of both the Head Boy and Girl, and though it pained him to do so, he spoke the words that would effectively end their adolescence and thrust them into an adult life fraught with danger and difficulty. The only comfort he could draw from it was that they would, at least, be together. The side he was recruiting for would not only accept their love, but celebrate it; and the alternative, what Voldemort or his Death Eaters would do to the two of them if they could, if they were allowed to run unchecked…well, that was unthinkable. Simply unthinkable. To lose two of their best to the most preposterous kind of bigotry, for them to lose their lives for no reason other than their love for each other. It must not happen.

'Have either of you ever heard mention of the Order of the Phoenix?'

**_(J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L)_**

**A/N: It's still Jily week on Tumblr! You can find me as scared-of-clouds if you want to chat or whatever.  
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	4. Additions

**A/N: Jily week day 4. Prompt: Pregnancy.  
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**_(J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L)_**

It wasn't possible. Just not possible.

Lily stared at her calendar and counted off days, trying desperately to come up with an explanation, _any _explanation other than the most obvious one, because _that_ was just something that she did not need to deal with right now. Correction, something _they _did not need to deal with right now. James would be with her in this, just as he had been with her in _everything _since their final year at school. For better, for worse, right? Trouble was, she wasn't entirely sure which one this counted as.

She turned the pages of the calendar over, looking at the days she'd marked in previous months, counting and recounting, each time hoping that the numbers would somehow add up differently this time.

But they didn't. _They didn't_.

She reached for her wand, and summoned a book on charms.

**_(J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L)_**

By the time James got home, she'd managed to get a grip. To some extent anyway. She summoned up a cheery smile for him as he dropped, exhausted, into one of the kitchen chairs, still recounting the night's adventures, telling stories of roaming the forests with his best friends while she made tea.

She placed the teacups on the table and slid into the chair opposite him, watching him as he spoke, hands waving animatedly despite his tiredness, her eyes trying to assess his features and compare them with her own. His eyes with her hair? Her chin and his nose? How would that look, a melding of the two of them?

'Lily?'

She suddenly realised that James had noticed her abstraction and was waving a hand in front of her face in an attempt to get her attention. She looked up and met his amused eyes with her startled ones, and he smiled at her, that little curl of the corner of his mouth that she loved. Would that be passed on as well?

'You look more tired than me.' He picked her hand up from the table and kissed it gently. 'Why don't you go back to bed? You didn't wait up for me did you?'

'No. No, I got enough sleep, I'm fine.' She heard the crack in her voice, and she knew he would have too, so she grabbed the empty cups and took them to the sink so she didn't have to look at him anymore.

She tried, she really did, to keep the tears back, but some things can't be pushed away, and when James' arms slipped around her from behind, so solid and warm just like always, every inch of resolve she had slipped and the tears fell.

'Lily?' He didn't have to say more than her name, she heard the unasked question in the single word. She had to tell him, she knew she did, but was this the best time? Then again, would there ever _be_ a good time?

'I'm pregnant.'

The words came out without her permission, forced from her throat by her freewheeling emotions without the intercession of her brain. She felt James' arms tense around her, could visualise the surprise on his face, and she waited for his reply.

'Huh.'

Of all the responses she'd prepared for, "huh" had not been one of them. She turned in his arms to face him, silent tears still falling.

'That's all you've got to say? "Huh"? That's _it_?'

He looked poleaxed, to be fair to him, but she couldn't understand why he hadn't immediately hit panic like she had.

'Well…how pregnant are you?' He asked, eyes wide behind his steel-framed glasses as he looked at his sobbing wife.

'Er, pretty much all the way.' She couldn't help the sarcasm, the bitchy tone of voice. She was a wreck here, she was _pregnant_, they were in the middle of a _war_, and he was standing there looking at her like she'd suggested they re-paint the spare room orange.

'I meant, how far along are you, or whatever you call it? Come on Lil, give me a break, I haven't got a fucking clue about this stuff.'

'Oh, and you think I have?' She fired back at him, then slapped her hand over her mouth as she pulled out of his embrace in an attempt to collect herself. They couldn't fight, not now. This needed reasonable, clear-headed, logical thought. For one wild moment she thought it would have been easier to explain to Remus, then she almost had hysterics at the thought of relaying this to James via his friend as intermediary.

Two deep breaths. 'A few weeks I think. Not that far along.'

'Okay.' She recognised that tone of voice; James' information gathering voice that he used when he was trying to order his thoughts. 'And…how exactly did this happen?'

That actually made her lips twitch. He sounded so lost, and she couldn't help but feel better knowing that he was as bloody clueless as she was. Maybe that made her a terrible person, but she wasn't used to being this confused, and it helped to have someone in the same position as you.

'Well, I would have thought your father would have discussed that with you, but I can draw you a diagram if you like.'

'Lily, come on.' James groaned. 'I'm getting my head around this here, can you cut me a_ bit_ of slack? You know what I meant.'

She did know, and maybe she _was_ being a little unreasonable; a small whispering voice in the back of her head told her that _she_ was the one who was knocked up, so unreasonable was _fine_, but she quashed it and continued in a calmer tone of voice.

'I'm not sure. I've been taking my potion, I haven't missed one…but nothing's infallible. I had a cold last month, I heard that sometimes being ill can affect it. I…' She trailed off and shrugged her shoulders, unable to offer him anything else.

They stood in silence for a moment, perhaps absorbing the information, possibly waiting for the other to speak first. In the end, James broke the silence, pulling her towards him and hugging her closely. 'We need to get you to someone who knows about this stuff. Not Mungo's, that's too public. Who do we know who's a healer? And we should get some books, and maybe see about finding furniture and stuff for the nursery…'

He babbled for a moment while Lily tried to adjust her mind to what he was saying. In the end, she could only get out one sentence in response, interrupting his verbal diarrhoea about books and nursery colours and healers.

'You're not mad? Or worried?'

He stopped mid-sentence and leaned back so he could look at her, still gripping her tightly. 'Are you kidding? I'm fucking_ terrified_. But of course I'm not _mad_, why would I be mad? It's nothing to be angry about, it's no-one's _fault_…well, possibly it could be considered mine, or maybe yours, you do insist on wearing those knickers with the little red bows and that's probably what caused the entire thing…'

'James.' She interrupted the flow of nonsense again. 'You don't think…you don't think it's a mistake then?'

She looked up at him, eyes brimming as she finally, _finally_, got out the question she'd been tormenting herself with ever since she'd found out. His hazel eyes stared back down at her, his expression somewhere between bewilderment and amazement.

'No. _No _Lil. It's a hell of a surprise, and it's probably the scariest thing I've ever had to deal with, but…' Speech seemed to fail him, but he reached a hand down and rubbed Lily's totally flat belly as he searched for the words. 'Lily, our baby is _not _a mistake.'

**_(J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L)_**

'…and I'll teach you transfiguration, because Uncle Padfoot may think he's better than me, but he's not. And I'll teach you how to fly. Oh, and Moony will teach you how to lie convincingly to teachers, because Merlin knows he's the only one of us who ever mastered it...'

Lily listened carefully with a smile on her face as James whispered words into the skin of her belly, stretched out beside her on their bed, his head pillowed on her chest. She knew it was an indulgence on her part – well, their part really – to lie here together on their bed and pretend they were a normal married couple who'd just had some exciting news. She wished, wished with every inch of her that they could be that. That they could invite all their friends and family over and do some big dramatic announcement – no doubt James would have some ideas in that direction, probably involving fireworks – and just be utterly and completely thrilled about the baby they'd made.

They couldn't have that. Their baby would be born into a world fighting a war, a war about whether its mother and everyone like her should be allowed to exist in the magical world. He – or she – would have two parents who fought in the Order, who were marked for death for their defiance. There was absolutely nothing normal about this.

But she could have these moments, these few peaceful times to pretend, and be happy. What was the point in the fighting otherwise, if it wasn't for this, for the future they wanted? The three of them, together and safe.

**_(J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L)_**

**A/N: I'm not so happy with this one, the characterisation seems off to me, but this is what you get for trying to knock out a drabble a day!  
**


	5. Stir Crazy

**A/N: Jily week day 5. Prompt: Hiding.  
**

**_(J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L)_**

It was completely normal, he told himself, to feel a bit stir crazy, a little bit frazzled and irritable. Completely and totally normal to feel cooped up and agitated. It didn't mean that he didn't love his wife, because anyone – _anyone_ - who knew James and Lily Potter, would attest that there was probably no possible way he could love her _more_.

He just wasn't used to being inside all the time. A childhood spent with the freedom to run, fly or otherwise traverse the entirety of the family estate, school days spent playing Quidditch – let's not even mention the full moons spent prowling the Forbidden Forest – and an adult life so far spent as an active part of the Order of the Phoenix had not equipped James Potter for boredom and inactivity.

But he still felt guilty for feeling it. It seemed a betrayal somehow; a betrayal of Lily, to wish that he was somewhere else sometimes. Not away from her._ Never_ away from her. Just…somewhere else for a while.

'You always look so odd when you brood. James Potter doesn't exactly seem himself when he's depressed.' Lily's voice startled him from his thoughts.

He looked up at his wife, her face set in a sad sort of smile as she held a cup of tea out to him. He took it and smiled back at her, because really, no matter what the circumstances Lily's face was always enough to make him smile.

'I'm not brooding.'

'Yes you were.' She sat next to him, a little uncomfortably as she tried to accommodate her rapidly swelling stomach, careful to leave a gap between them. It bothered him a little, but he wasn't going to comment; if she didn't want to touch him, that was absolutely up to her. He was a miserable bastard at the moment, he wasn't going to deny it. 'And you have every right to.'

They sat in silence for a few moments, sipping at their tea, neither of them entirely sure what to say.

'I'm sorry James.'

His head jerked up at her words, and he turned to face her, completely at sea as to what she was apologising for. He reached out a hand for her teacup and placed both his and hers carefully down on the side table. 'What do you have to be sorry for, Mrs Potter?'

'You would have been so much better off if you hadn't married me.'

That made his jaw drop; the very idea that _any_ kind of life without Lily could possibly be preferable to a life spent with her, even if it was within the confines of this bloody house. He reached out for her and closed the gap between them, pulling her tightly to him and inhaling the fragrance coming from her hair, the scent that he knew as well as, if not better than his own.

'There is nothing I would rather do with my life than spend it married to you. If that means being cooped up in hiding for a little while…well, then I guess I consider that a fair price.' He planted a kiss on the top of her head, feeling her silent tears leaking into the fabric of his shirt. 'I am so unbelievably sorry if I made you think for a second that I could ever have any regrets about you. I'm a little stir-crazy right now, but of all the things I would like to change about my life, you are not, and never will be, one of them.'

Lily heaved a broken sob, a sort of wet hiccough into his chest. 'Sorry. Pregnancy hormones.'

James smiled into her hair. 'Rather you than me.'

She hit him in the chest, but he felt her shoulders shake with a silent snort of laughter. 'Pig.'

**_(J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L)_**

'So, how are you two?' Sirius took a swig of his tea and looked from one Potter to the other. Lily seemed fine – blooming, actually – even if she did look like she'd swallowed a quaffle. Not that he'd _said _that; he'd laughed at how ungainly she was these days when he'd arrived, and been immediately hexed, so he'd avoided all pregnancy related comments since.

'Peachy.' James sounded sour, and Sirius couldn't blame him; he knew what it was like to be stuck somewhere you didn't want to be – though comparing sharing a bright little house with Lily to sharing Grimmauld Place with his family was faintly ridiculous – and James was too much like him. Neither of them had the temperament for confinement.

'Good to hear.' He deliberately avoided picking up on the grouchy tone and instead focused on James' wife. 'How are you angel? Realised you're too good for this one yet?'

She smiled back at him, a genuine smile he was happy to note, though her eyes flickered quickly to James before she answered. 'Think I might be stuck with him now.'

'Well, that's unfortunate.' Sirius grinned. 'Still, it's your burden to bear.' He nodded at her rounded stomach. 'And it's not the only one either.'

Lily threw a sofa cushion at him and he promptly poured his tea down his front. Once he'd vanished the stains from Lily's sofa, at her insistence, he cleaned himself up and turned to his best mate, ready to tackle the reason he'd come.

'Moony wants to try it alone this month. Tonight, I mean.'

'What?' James' eyebrows rose in surprise as he straightened up, the most animated he'd seen him since he'd arrived. 'Why?'

Sirius shrugged. 'You know Moony. Self-sacrificing bastard he is.'

'Padfoot.' James spoke warningly.

'All right, all right.' Sirius threw himself back down and looked at his friend seriously. 'The last couple of times, it's been a lot harder without you. Moony's caught me a few times, and Pete has to focus on just staying out of the way a lot of the time. He's feeling guilty, you know how he gets.'

'Right.' James sank back down in his spot on the sofa, and Sirius felt the pangs of guilt; he'd known James would beat himself up over this, knew he would see it as an abandonment of his friend, and he felt awful for bringing it up, but he had to. This prophecy had blighted James and Lily's lives already, and the other three Marauders felt the loss of their friends keenly; surely, it didn't have to deprive Moony of his only source of comfort too?

'So I was hoping you'd speak to him. You or your adorable wife here.' He looked at them hopefully.

'You think he'd listen to us?' Lily perched herself on the arm of the sofa as she looked at him closely. He shrugged, his eyes flicking back to James.

'Maybe. He's certainly not listening to me.' Sirius shrugged. 'I mean, what's a bruise or two to me and Pete? I don't know why his knickers are in such a twist.'

James let his head fall back to rest on the back of his armchair. 'Send him over if you like; he probably won't listen, but I'll try.'

Lily's voice was quiet when it came. 'I have a better idea.'

The two boys both looked at her curiously, but her focus was all for her husband. 'You could go with them this month.'

James' mouth twisted sourly. 'The entire problem is that I can't Lil.'

'Why not? How many people know you're an animagus?'

'Five, and three of them are sat in this room.' Sirius answered for him.

'So the Death Eaters may be looking for us, but they're not looking for a stag, a dog, a werewolf and a rat. Make sure you pick a quiet place to go, leave here under the cloak, and just…be careful.'

James was staring at his wife, his eyes narrowed. 'You are aware, aren't you, that Lily from a couple of years ago would have been berating us for our recklessness if _we'd_ come up with this?'

She rolled her eyes at him. 'Well, perhaps the Potter surname is affecting my brain finally. Or maybe it's a result of carrying your child; you know, the Potter chromosomes poisoning my mind from within. But actually, I think it's mostly because I can't stand to see you miserable anymore, so piss off would you Potter?'

**_(J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L)_**

Lily wasn't asleep when James came home, but she kept her eyes closed as he tiptoed around the room, trying his best not to wake her. He was hampered by his obvious tiredness making him clumsy, but eventually he managed to strip down to his boxers and collapse into bed alongside her.

He lay alongside her for only a few seconds before he reached for her, his arms snaking around her waist and pulling her to him.

'I know you're awake.' His lips landed on the crook of her neck and shoulder, coasting up her neck until they reached her ear.

'You're the best wife anyone could ever ask for.' His mouth moved to the nape of her neck right at the top of her spine.

'And I'm sorry I've been such a miserable bastard. I'll try and do better.' His breath was warm on her shoulders as he trailed kisses along the neckline of his old quidditch shirt that was serving as her pyjamas. 'I'll make it up to you.'

Lily's lips curled up, and for the first time in weeks she felt purely happy, no worries weighing on her for that exact moment. 'I thought you were tired.'

She could feel James' smile as his mouth continued to work over her skin, and his hands slid over her swollen belly. 'I've never been _that _tired.'

'**_(J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L)_**

**A/N: Since these are essentially duplicates of drabbles I've posted on Tumblr, I really wasn't expecting reviews, so thank you to anyone who's taken the time. Don't forget to check out the other Jily week work; you can find it in the jily week tag, or on jilyweek . tumblr . com.  
**


	6. What You Deserve

**A/N: Jily week day 6. Prompt: Harry's Birth.  
**

**Please bear in mind that I have never been through labour, nor have I been present for one. I know only the basic details, and I have no desire to look into it more closely (not to mention not enough time!). This is probably not particularly accurate on that count.**

**_(J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L)_**

'You're doing brilliantly love.' James' lips brushed across her temple, and his hand continued to run gentle soothing circles across her back as she gritted her teeth and tried with all her might to focus on her breathing, just as Mary was encouraging her to. She'd never been more grateful for her school friend's healer training, because this would have been terrifying enough under normal circumstances, and giving birth at home while in hiding from a deranged killer was a long way from that. It would have been so much worse without Mary.

She heaved in a trembling breath, and dropped her head onto his shoulder, leaning into his body as the contraction finished. 'Easy for you to say Potter. You're not the one who's got to do this are you?'

She felt the deep rumble of his laughter through his chest, rather than heard it. 'Good thing really love. We both know I'm not strong enough for this.'

'True.' Lily lifted a tired arm to push a few sweaty strands of hair back from her eyes. 'You're such a complete pansy.'

'I am.' James agreed, catching and lifting her hand so he could kiss the back of it. 'A complete pansy.'

'Quit humouring me Potter.' Lily griped, taking a half-hearted swipe at him with the back of her hand. 'You're just agreeing with everything I say so that I'll stop blaming you for this. And it's_ not_ going to work, because it _is_ your fault; you did this to me.'

'Well, you weren't exactly complaining at the time...Ow, bloody hell Lily!' For someone who was exhausted from five hours of labour, _and _strung out on pain potion, she had a rather solid right cross. Rubbing his sore face with one hand, he looked down at her. 'It'll be worth it, right? For our baby? It's going to be a boy you know.'

'If you say so.' Lily felt the ripples of the next contraction start in her lower belly, and she grabbed for James' hand; he squeezed back just as tightly, in an attempt to reassure her as much as possible. 'I'm betting on a girl myself.'

Mary looked up at them from her spot at the end of the bed, a smile on her face. 'This should be it Lils. Just a little bit longer sweetheart, you're nearly there.'

Lily closed her eyes and panted as the contraction continued, and James looked up to see Mary frantically gesturing at him to keep her talking, keep her spirits up. If that meant using him as a verbal - or indeed physical - punching bag, it seemed like the least he could do.

'Why do you think it's a girl love?' He asked, trying not wince as her fingernails dug into the back of his hand.

'Because,' she ground out, 'that's exactly what you deserve Potter.'

'Really?' He pressed his lips to her cheek, keeping a firm grip on her hand, and closed his eyes against the sight of his wife in pain. If her could take it away from her he would, but that was impossible, so the only thing he could do was keep trying to distract her.

'Yeah.' Lily had closed her own eyes by now, and was pressing her face back against his. 'It's going to be a girl, and when she grows up and goes to Hogwarts some irrepressible little _prat_ is going to clap eyes on her, and he's going to spend years winding her up, until she eventually falls in love with him. And you're going to have to deal with that happening to your daughter, because _that_, Potter, is karma.'

She felt that rumbling laugh again, and Merlin help her, it made her feel better. _He_ always made her feel better.

'Well, I guess I'll have to deal with that when the time comes.' James whispered. 'But I'd really like to meet my daughter now, Lils.'

Her brow furrowed as her teeth worried her bottom lip. 'Working on it.'

'Work on it a bit faster.' Said Mary with a smile. 'Push Lil! Really big push darling, okay?'

Lily nodded, and James felt her nails dig a bit deeper into his skin as she drew on a reserve of strength that he could only marvel at. Still, he wouldn't have minded if she retracted the claws a little, since it felt like she was about to hit bone. This last contraction, and Lily's final exhausted effort to push, seemed to last only seconds, though he was sure he wasn't a reliable witness by this point, and then loud crying filled the room.

James lifted his face away from Lily's slightly and kissed away the tears trickling down her cheeks. 'She's definitely got your lungs.'

'He.' Mary corrected from the end of the bed, a smile on her lips as she checked over the baby boy in her arms. 'I'm afraid Lil, that all you got for that effort was a miniature James Potter. Best of luck with that.'

**_(J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L)_**

**A/N: Short I know. What can you do?  
**


	7. At The End

**A/N: Jily week day 7. Prompt: Fidelius and Death. **

**I'm really very sorry.**

**_(J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L)_**

'Really Professor? There's nothing else to be done?' James' frustration was clear in his voice as he paced the small amount of space available in his sitting room. Lily watched him with worried eyes as she bounced Harry on her knee; their son watched his father's progress up and down the room with delight, a Daddy's boy since the day he was born.

'I'm sorry James.' Dumbledore did indeed sound sorry. 'I wish I could offer you better news. But if he believes that killing your son will benefit him…well, he will not hesitate. I cannot in good conscience recommend anything other than the Fidelius at this point.'

Lily reached out and caught James' hand as he turned to make another trip across the carpet. 'James…' Her voice trailed off, but her eyes moved to their son, and James understood without any conversation that while she did not want this, she would not risk their son.

And in truth, neither would he. 'Very well Professor. Fidelius it is.'

'Dumbledore nodded. 'I know Lily is able to perform the charm, and so you have no further use for me exactly…but I would like to offer my services as your secret-keeper.'

Harry's rattle hit the floor with a thump as Lily fumbled it in her shock. Her green eyes rose to look at her old Headmaster, and her voice trembled a little as she spoke. 'That's…an honour sir, but surely there's no need to burden you with this?'

Dumbledore managed a slight smile for his former pupil. 'You and your family are not a burden Lily. My offer is freely given.'

His smile faltered a little. 'And…there is the matter of the spy to be considered. Your Secret Keeper needs to be beyond suspicion.'

James sat down on the arm of the chair next to his wife and son and put an arm around Lily's shoulders. 'And you're sure there is a spy Professor?'

Dumbledore suddenly looked older than his years. 'I am…as sure as anyone can be with matters as delicate as this. Information is leaving the Order and ending up with Voldemort. Information that is too widely known amongst members for me to truly narrow the pool of suspects. I may be wrong, as I have been before, but I will not risk your safety.'

James' arm tightened around Lily's shoulders, and she glanced up at her husband. Their eyes met only briefly, but in that moment they communicated and agreed on the subject. James turned back to face Dumbledore. 'We are honoured by your offer, but we decided some time ago that if the time came we would entrust ourselves to Sirius.'

Dumbledore inclined his head. 'It is understandable that you would ask your brother to stand beside you on this.' He rose from his seat. 'I hope to return your marvellous cloak next time we speak; I also hope to be able to tell you that the immediate danger, at least, has passed.'

**_(J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L)_**

'No.'

James stared at Sirius - his brother, his best friend - as if he'd never seen him before. 'What do you mean "no"?'

Sirius rolled his eyes at him. 'Has being in hiding filled your head with dung, or is it just that you've lost the ability to hear properly? I said no, because I _meant_ no. I shouldn't be the one to do this.'

'Padfoot…' Lost for words, James turned appealing eyes to his wife.

Lily moved deliberately forward and placed Harry gently into his godfather's arms. 'Why shouldn't you be the one to do this Sirius?' She asked, a good deal more calmly than James would have managed before sitting down next to James.

Sirius stared down at his godson, admiring Lily's clear green eyes staring out at him from a version of his best friend's face. 'Because they're going to come for me.' He spoke almost absently as he watched Harry curl little fingers around his larger ones. 'I must be high on the list anyway, since I'm a Black who's defied them as well as a known Order member. But let's be realistic here, I was your best man for fu…Merlin's sake.' He glanced down at Harry as he corrected his profanity. 'If there's one person they're going to try and interrogate about you, it will be me. They will come, for _me_.'

The three of them sat silently for a few moments, listening to Harry gurgle happily at Sirius as he pulled faces at him.

'Use Pete.' Sirius said finally. 'He won't think of going after Pete.'

'He might.' James' voice was quiet as he looked intently at his old friend.

'He won't.' Sirius kept his eyes on Harry. 'He won't, because he doesn't understand us, the way we work. It's like Dumbledore's always saying, he doesn't know what friendship is, or loyalty. He'll assume that you'll trust your secret to the most powerful, the strongest. And much as I love Pete, you know that most people wouldn't think of him if they were asked to pick who that was. He's under the radar. They'll come after me, and I'll lead them on one hell of a chase before they get me.'

'Padfoot…' James tried again, but he was interrupted once more.

'I owe you so much Prongs. I owe your parents so much. I'm not going to let anything happen to any of you.' He looked up from Harry at his best friend and his wife, still sitting together, their hands entwined as they looked at him. 'Make Pete your secret keeper. Let me draw them away from you.'

His eyes moved back to his godson, and when James spoke again it was so quiet he could barely hear it. 'Okay Padfoot. We'll do it your way. But, and I want you to be very clear on this, we're not doing it your way because you say so, but because you are my brother, and I would do exactly the same for you.'

**_(J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L)_**

'See all the pumpkins outside the houses Harry?' James held his son up carefully, peering out of the windows at the quiet street outside. 'Muggles carve faces into them every year on Halloween, because it's supposed to keep away evil spirits. We do it too, but only because it's fun.'

He lifted his son away from the window and walked back to the little sofa with him. 'Next year I'll take you somewhere on Halloween. Maybe the Shrieking Shack. Imagine that when you go to Hogwarts; you'll be able to tell everyone that you've already been there, to the most haunted house in Britain. If that doesn't impress them, I don't know what will.'

He sat down and squeezed Harry tightly before lowering him to the rug in front of the sofa, inhaling the unique scent of freshly washed little boy,_ his_ little boy, and reminding himself that their situation was both temporary and worth it for his son. Next year, he kept repeating in his head, next year would be different. He held onto that, onto the idea that by next Halloween he and Lily and Harry would be with all their friends, having a party and enjoying their lives, free from the threat that hung over their heads.

He pulled his wand out and began to make wisps of coloured smoke appear in front of Harry's face, talking all the while to his son who bounced up and down and tried to catch the smoke in his hands, laughing the whole time.

'Hogwarts is great, you'll love it. You'll be fantastic at Quidditch obviously, and you've probably been lucky enough to get your mum's brains, so you'll be fine in classes too. But, if you want my advice, try and stay away from the girls until you're at least sixteen; trust me, you'll be too much of an utter prat before then to really stand any chance with one that's worth it anyway.'

'Trying to atone for your mistakes Potter?' Lily's amused voice floated in from the doorway as they door opened. 'Stop talking your son's ear off, it's his bed time.'

James reached down and scooped up his son, handing him over to Lily with a cocky grin. 'Just trying to offer him shortcuts; I figure there's no reason not to pass on my gathered experience and wisdom.'

'Wisdom may be pushing it Potter.' Lily pressed her lips to Harry's head and turned to leave the room. 'But your "experience" is welcome to join me in bed in half an hour or so.'

James smiled to himself as he threw his wand down on the sofa and stretched. He may have been locked up, hidden away from the world, but he had his wife and son; life could always have been worse.

The sound of the front door bursting open filled the house, and James' felt bile rise in his throat as his heart stopped dead in his ribcage; he sprinted into the little hallway and saw his worst nightmare crossing through the front door into their house.

Random thoughts danced through his brain, of his parents, of Sirius, Remus and Peter, but most of all, of Lily and Harry. There was no question of running.

'Lily, take Harry and go! It's him! Go! Run! I'll hold him off-'

**_(J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L)_**

**A/N: I always feel like so much is made of Lily's sacrifice - which, don't get me wrong, was incredible - that James' gets forgotten a little. So James perspective.  
**

**That's the last of the Jily Week drabbles, so I'm marking it as complete, but I may add more drabbles to it in future if the mood strikes me. Thanks for reading.**


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